unironedman

Captain Blackadder: “You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.”
Private Baldrick: “What was that, sir?”
Captain Blackadder: “It was bollocks.” — Blackadder Goes Forth

The cunning plan is the hook for many an oft-quoted Blackadder gag. If you’re not familiar with the TV sitcom, then you have some catching up to do. Be warned, though. You may end up memorising dozens of pithy lines from the series and become one of those pub bores who interjects into every conversation with their own variation of a Baldrick ‘special’, and rarely if ever does anyone deliver that character like Tony Robinson. Just enjoy your pint and leave the humour to the experts, okay? (See also: Monty Python).

And for the record, I just opened with the quote above simply because it’s funny. Not because it’s relevant to this weekend’s exploits. Just in case Gary is reading…

So what was this cunning plan, then? I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask Gary. Overall, it meant we got to take Sunday off from running entirely, whilst still ticking the two important boxes: firstly, do a parkrun, for it is written that there must be a parkrun completed each and every Saturday. Tick.

Secondly, do a long run, for it is the weekend, and it also written that a long run must be completed in this two-day window (albeit with certain provisos, such as the proximity to race day, tapering, etc.). Tick.

So how would this plan work?

Drive to Oldbridge in Co. Meath on the edge of Drogheda town, and complete the 5k ‘warm-up’ at Oldbridge parkrun. Head to car and collect hydration vest and gels, etc. Complete the 25k Boyne Valley Camino. Back to car. Lunch. Home. A plan cunning in its simplicity.

The Oldbridge parkrun site is essentially the OPW Battle of the Boyne heritage visitor centre and surrounds. They have done a fabulous job. I admit I had never been to the site before, despite its pivotal place in Irish history. Again, much like Blackadder (really? ed.), you need to do your own research on this. If you have been following the current issues in the north of Ireland and in particular, the Garvaghy Road stand-off, you can see how the phrase ‘history doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes’ might pop into your head. Yet another quote mis-attributed to Mark Twain. If we believe everything we read on the Internet, Twain did nothing all day except sit around coming up with pithy sayings for our future delight.

But once again, I digress. Clearly one cannot even go for a simple jog these days without putting one’s foot literally into the quicksand of Irish history. And regular readers of this blog know how much I avoid using the word ‘jog’ which should be used sparingly and only in sentences followed by ‘one’s memory’. (I think we’re digressing again, ed.)

Quite. The location for the parkrun is splendid. It’s well worth a visit, and it also doubles as a superb parkrun venue which is unusual in that the whole route is run on grass and paths within fields. As such, I was wearing the wrong runners. But we got through it okay. After the first few hundred metres, Gary gave me permission to scoot on ahead if I was feeling up to it, and I did. Probably not wise, in hindsight, which as we all know is an exact science.

But I wasn’t flat out either, and overall, finished in 8th place in a time of 22:01. Gary did a 23:46 for 13th place. We didn’t hang about to chat, having exchanged the friendly pleasantries before the off (Gary knows A LOT of people at parkruns…). Back to the car, grab the vests, and head for the exit. Once officially on the route loop itself, we headed on towards Drogheda town along the banks of the canal which was similar in purpose to other canals which run alongside some Irish rivers; they allow for boat traffic on sections that would be otherwise unnavigable. A quick poke about online reveals that the Boyne Navigation (to give it its proper title) is 31 kms in total, and linked the inland town of Navan to the port at Drogheda. And indeed, we passed the sea lock that marks the joining of the canal and the Boyne shortly before passing underneath the impressive Mary McAleese Bridge which spans the river.

Over the river further downstream, and into the town proper and up the main street to pay a flying visit to St. Peter’s Parish Church – the official start point. This is, after all, a Camino, and one can get stamps in your pilgrim passport if you so wish. Here’s some information from the official website:

This 25km Boyne Valley Camino can be continued in Galicia by walking the old pilgrim route from A Coruña (the port of landing of pilgrims from Ireland through ages) to Santiago de Compostela (75km) to complete the 100km required to receive an official Compostela.

This is why, as Gary pointed out, that there is a 25k walk prior to your departure for Spain. If you are a true pilgrim, you must complete 100k to earn your Compostela passport. I admit some skepticism here; this is a very metric distance for a tradition that is over a thousand years old. But let’s not get fussy about details. We were here to get in some training, and nobody is stamping any passports for us today.

We head west out of town, and soon pass under the M1 motorway and are back out into the countryside again, albeit on the roadside for now. We reach the entrance to Townley Hall estate, and are soon climbing into lush deciduous woodland. I discover the following day that the main house was designed by Francis Johnson in 1799; the same architect responsible for the original house in Catherine’s Park where I do most of my training, in Leixlip. Small world indeed.

We leave the estate and head on an out-and-back to the old Mellifont Abbey. There are a few hills to be tackled here, and both of us confess to some degree of soreness, and one or two of the stiffer climbs are walked. Then it’s back down to Tullynalley village on another quick out-and-back before we rejoin the outskirts of Townley Hall’s woodland offerings and another charming if somewhat lumpy path with numerous steps and footbridges.

The trail drops down to the point where we entered the estate at around the 9.5k mark. We had clocked up nearly 22k at this point, so I was glad to see the bridge in front of us, and within minutes, we had crossed the Boyne once more, and completed the short section of canal, and were at the start point again. Time to stop the watches and make the final walk back to the car, enjoying the surroundings without the thought of having to run for the rest of the day.

Before we left for home, we enjoyed a healthy lunch of, amongst other things, crisps, sausage rolls and hot chocolate. We sat outside in a remarkably hot day, with a fine view of the walled gardens.

For the record, we seem to have fallen short of the 25k estimate for the Camino, and therefore neither Gary nor I will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. We had copped this as we reached the gates of Oldbridge Estate, but for some odd reason, neither of us seemed particularly perturbed at this notion, nor was there any suggestion that we keep running until the watches ticked over the relevant distance. Indeed, had someone suggested it, they would have been cast into the Boyne. A diversion outside of Drogheda may have accounted for some of that. The parkrun was oddly shorn of a hundred metres too. Good job I didn’t get a PB 😉