unironedman

Behold these old runners. I feel like I have had them forever, but I can pinpoint the time I bought them because, dear reader, I wrote a blog about the experience. And here it is. And I still have them. I did also write a piece – a sort of love affair, if you like – about another, older pair of Sauconys, but I won’t bore you with yet another post, suffice to say those particular runners were part of my undoing on the roof last year. And even though I bore no grudge against them, Saoirse gleefully and mercilessly disposed of them that evening, and I was powerless to intervene.

So yes, they are only about two years old, but I have, quite literally, run them into the ground. I normally apologise for my groan-inducing puns, but this one stands. And when I feel like I have wrung the last drops of life out of a pair of runners, but I can’t bear to let them go, I wear them for painting. Which explains the condition of them in the photo. Though even this evening, I wore them walking the dogs, and they still have some bounce in the foam.

Saoirse introduced me to vinted.com last week. Which explains the recent uptick in parcel deliveries. Vinted, for those (like me) not in the know, is an online site where you can buy and sell clothing, and S does have a great eye when it comes to clothes, especially second-hand vintage. Apparently there are bargains to be had on Vinted. And of course she knows me better than I know myself, so when she casually mentioned that you could get Sauconys on the site, my curiosity was piqued. Out came the laptop, and within the hour, I had placed an order for a pair of Saucony Endorphin Speed 3, coming all the way from France.

They look in reasonable condition. The seller reckons they don’t suit him, and that he’s done about 300kms in them. The roads he runs on must be immaculate and smooth as a baby’s bum because there’s hardly any wear on the soles, and the uppers look almost new. I guess we’ll see. They cost me about thirty quid, so it’s a punt. I will report back when they arrive, of course. Same size (44) and same colour. I have already received a mail from the company to inform me that the seller has popped them in the post!

[At this point, there is a disturbance at the back of the hall. The conference is halted temporarily. Someone is shouting at the narrator. Let us try and hear what they are saying… something about the blogger… he accuses the blogger of buying a brand new pair of Saucony road running shoes IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS… it’s not like he actually needs more Saucony runners… there is a hush over the assembled readers as security are called and the heckler is casually dragged out of his chair and removed from proceedings…] *

* Okay, this couldn’t possibly happen in a civilised democracy, could it? Someone – say, a journalist – could be manhandled out of a press conference for simply asking robust questions? Surely not. Any similarity to recent events in America are purely coincidental.

Right. We’re back to normal. Apologies for that interlude.

Yes, I suppose it’s fair to say I did have my little flirtation with trail running. I very much still enjoy trail running, and I hope to do lots more. And so, I needed to get the right footwear for the job. The last two decent pairs of shoes I bought were Saucony Peregrines and then Hoka Speedgoats. That was before I realised I had worn out all my road running shoes. Anyway, here we are. Do I really need to explain the need for shoes on a running blog?

Any fellow readers/runners out there have a pair of Sauconys? Perhaps you baulked at buying a pair because you weren’t even sure how to ask to try them on in the shop. Understandable. Saucony has been around since 1898, and for a while recently, they printed ‘SOCK-A-KNEE’ on their shoe boxes, to give us all a steer on the pronunciation. This was a marketing whizz in the guise of an April Fool’s stunt. They don’t do that anymore. I guess they reckon we’ve all copped on. Not so. Certainly not since the brand became popular over this side of the world. As an aside, and speaking as a graphic designer, I like their logo. The name is taken from the creek which flows near the original factory in Pennsylvania. The three circles are boulders within the stream. The name itself is derived from a First Nation phrase which means ‘where two rivers merge’.

I don’t just buy this brand because they have a nifty logo, of course. I may be shallow, but I’m not ‘stream’ shallow. I do actually like their shoes from the first pair I tried on. And the Endorphins that I have worn to the bone really do fit me like a glove. Though that expression is somewhat half-baked. Fits like a well-fitting glove would make more sense. It’s almost as annoying as that other butchered idiom: ‘the proof is in the pudding!’. You hear it all the time now. It’s not quite a malapropism, but it sure is mighty fucking irritating. The proof of the pudding is IN THE EATING! You have to taste the damn pudding. Semantics, perhaps, but we have some standards here at unironedman. It’s not a high bar, but at least there is one, dammit!

And for those of you who fell into my carefully laid trap of assuming the old dog in the title was me, let me reassure you that it is also me. Not as much as the Saucony runners, but I have been visiting the gym two to three times a week, and getting back out running again, about three times a week. And last night I managed to push the pace a bit with Mark, and did a reasonably-paced 5 miles. Nothing to write home about, but better than recent runs anyway, and I’ll take it. Groin still a little niggly, but I am ignoring it ’til it sulks off somewhere else, and of course, the right knee is a little tender. Actually, come to think of it, both knees are a little tender, but it’s mostly the right one that is vocal for now. No doubt this is the beginning of the end of my illustrious running career, but I’m going to ignore that too, and keep tramping along in whatever runners I can get my hands on.

But I bet they’ll have three circles down the side…